Sometime in May 2024 – Late afternoon – Studio light getting soft
Students lingering: 3
Coffee cups empty: most
Simple questions that weren't simple: 1
Layers peeled back: too many to count
Confidence found? Getting there.

Student approaches. Portfolio review coming up. Classic pre-panic mode.

"What makes a great portfolio?"

Could've said technical skill. Clean layouts. Strong concepts. Instead: "A great portfolio showcases your unique voice through your own design language."

Immediate follow-up: "How do I develop that?"

"You need to be creative."

"How can I become creative?"

Here we go.

Each question peels back another layer like removing onion skin. Eyes starting to water.

"By embracing your uniqueness."

"How can I embrace my uniqueness?"

"By being true to yourself. Pay attention to your inner voice and listen to your heart."

Pause. Heavy one.

"I find it hard to listen to my heart."

There it is.

Not about portfolios anymore. Never was.

"Why is that?"

Already knew the answer.

"Because I'm not confident enough."

"What makes you feel that way?"

"I doubt myself and fear failure."

Classic. It's the same conversation I've had with dozens of students. Same conversation I've had with myself. How do you create when you're afraid of what you might create?

"Self-doubt is the worst enemy of creativity."

True story.

"How can I get rid of self-doubt?"

Wrong question. You don't get rid of it by attacking it like trying to stop thinking about pink elephants.

"Focus on enjoying the process. No one worries about failing during the process."

Something shifted. Recognition. Maybe relief.

"That's true."

It is true. When you're deep in the work—hands moving, mind engaged with the problem—doubt becomes irrelevant. Nothing to attach to. Just the next mark. Next decision. Next small step.

"When you focus on the process, you build confidence in your actions and decisions. The more you practice this, the more confident you'll become."

"That sounds easy."

Easy. Ha.

Simple concept. Difficult practice. We worship outcomes. Measure ourselves by the final products instead of the journey. Think confidence is something you either have or don't have.

Wrong.

"It is easier than you think. What's your next step?"

"Focus on the process?"

"Yes."

The student left. Studio is empty now. Thinking about portfolios and processes. About showcasing versus revealing.

Best student work I've seen isn't the most technically perfect. It's the most honest. Shows not just what they can do, but how they think. How they see differently.

Your portfolio isn't a collection of final products. It's evidence. Wrong turns that became breakthroughs. Failed experiments that taught something essential. Moments when you trusted instincts and discovered something new.

Lines between confidence and creativity aren't straight. They loop. Curve. Double back.

Sometimes the path forward is to stop trying to move forward. Start paying attention to where you are.

Focus on process—on doing rather than having done. Permission to be imperfect. To be learning. To be exactly where you are.

Something unexpected happens.

You become yourself. Not the self you think you should be. The self you actually are.

That self has something unique to say.

Portfolio becomes not a performance of competence. A record of discovery. Map of a mind learning to trust itself.

One process at a time.

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